We're Sinking...

Chip, Rich, other readers... (yea...right) Here is the post you've all been anxiously awaiting. Here is the proof that smallish stones were climbed in Utah recently by those possessing the sick-rad-gnarness known as "psyche". Here are the photos and stories from MOAB and JOE'S VALLEY, UT.

Our story begins when our heroes find themselves in the big bend bouldering area on a fine Saturday morning. It's cool out, it's dry, so what to get on? HOW ABOUT HELL BELLY BISHES??????

The rad-man formerly known as TJ challenged this retarded-hard climb and came away with some good progress. Proud TJ. Real Proud.

(he also made this progress while a fun dood from grand junct. sprayed about various pro-climbers falling off and calling the problem an ES-tupid climb)

As far as Moab goes, I had one real objective. CHAOS. I'm proud to say it went kids. And yes. I topped out. (I just want to thank Jaeger, because I've been climbing on Choss (Chaos-heh heh- get it) since I cut my outdoor bouldering teeth, and loving every second! Yes...The experience helped.

We also flirted with Phantom Fighter Dyno, which didn't go particularly well. However, it was a fun way to spend the afternoon.

After deciding neither of us was "Retard-strong" enough to send, we decided that saving skin for Joe's was a better plan, and we should pack the car and head out.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature hates me. I forgot to mention this to TJ, and God bless him, he thinks she actually hates HIM!

Our drive to Orangeville was slightly delayed by worsening clouds, snow, and overall not good weather happenings. When we arrived in Joe's, we were greeted by the following sight:

Yea. Bad news Bears. TJ looked for dry climbs while driving (scaring the piss out of me in the process) and eventually settled on checking out "worst case scenario"...how appropriate.

However, no dryness was to be found today, so we decided to hit the food ranch, warn incoming climbers, and grab some food.

Upon returning to the valley to make camp, we decided that the 4X4 of TJ's truck would be more than enough to handle a little snow... we were WRONG. We pulled in to the main campsite in the right fork and made it about 30 feet before stopping. My comment to describe the sensation... "We're Sinking."

We dug the car out (where I say "we" there read: "TJ") and headed up the left fork to ultimately set up camp in the pullout for the mine-cart boulder. Epic.

The following day, everything was covered in snow, wet, and the weather was threatening so we decided to check out TRIASSIC. Bad Plan.

The roads were muddy as hell, we slid TJ's AWD 4Runner no less than 3 times (one almost catastrophically) and we even hiked through tons of snow for the wrong look at the boulders. FAIL.

On the upside, TJ did shoot this excellent photo of me trying to boulder INTO the car without stepping in 6 inches of mud.

So with Triassic out of the question, Psyche at an all time low, and my thermals smelling like bad meat mixed with good cheese, TJ decided to man up and start the climbing.

He jumped on Worst Case Scenario and did all the moves (easily from my perspective) but decided that tweaky, cold, wet soreness was not worth it.

So what to do? THE DAMN DIRT-BAR IN ORANGEVILLE AT 2PM ON A SUNDAY THAT'S WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

We hit up the bar (Chick's) with the intention of killing a couple 3.2 Bud Lights and then getting some food. What happened instead cannot be described. (mainly because I can't remember most of it)

We started drinking a beer. Then Bob (red shirt below) offered to buy us shots. TJ was out, and I tried, but he wasn't taking "no" for an answer. They ran out of his shot, so he bought us a beer. Then we started playing pool.

Then I broke a window-trim piece at the bar, blamed it on his friend, talked a LOT of crap, drank some more beers, took a shot with Bob and company, made a "screwing guys" joke, almost got hit in the face pretty hard from the guy on the right, played more pool, reassured TJ we weren't going to be murdered, met up with RYLAN and LUCAS (woot!) and eventually left the bar.

TJ's telling of this is much more entertaining, and here is a shot of how the evening might have turned out for me:

So yea. After gas station Hot-Pockets and a Pepsi I managed to shoot this photo of TJ and Rylan "tent pole fencing" as they set up camp in the mine-cart pullout to join us. (notice no blurring- I'm pretty proud of that given my state at the time)

The following morning dawned cold and windy as hell, but clear, and we sat in Rylan's car for a while before deciding SENDING TEMPS WERE TOTALLY PASSING US BY!!!!!

'

We headed up to the EDEN area where Lucas CRUSHED G2-07 (V8) in only a few burns. (and immediately after putting on his pair of 5.10 Dragons Rylan might add...)

I got on an old flame called External Tulips (it looks like a vagina...ha ha). I'm glad to say I can add it to the send list.

From there, it was on to New Joe's where we hit Chips, I'd Rather be climbing her, and the following problems:

This is TJ. He is one strong bish. This is TJ on black lung. I can assure you that just pulling off the ground on this problem is an accomplishment. Well done dood. Well done.

TJ and Rylan spent some time working out the opening moves to Black Lung while I sat lazily shooting photos.

Both looked strong, and had a good time (minus the pain of pulling on those holds) working the problem.

I got excited about Resident Evil after watching Lucas mess with it, and had to give a few burns...

This one is definitely on the project list now. SOOOOO GOOOD!!!!

Rylan had one hell of a good "last-go-best-go" on black lung and stuck the first move and then almost got the second! That was rad to watch man!

A pretty great trip by my standards. Yea, we might have been snowed out for a day and a half, but we sent the "get hammered with locals" problem in the best way possible!

Big thanks to TJ, Rylan, and Lucas for being good friends, tolerating my dumb-ass, and climbing on amazing rock in UT for the weekend!

Big "Wish you were there!'s" to the usual suspects.

For those that don't know, this is Rylan. He shoots photoz way better than I do. You can visit his blog HERE. (Do so for more photos of this great trip, and his extended coverage after TJ and I left)

Thanks for checking my blog foolfaces! Hope you enjoyed!